The journey is as important as the destination. As a culture, we value future achievements and external accomplishments over the process of being and becoming. This emphasis can lead to a disintegrated way of life that leaves us feeling empty, isolated, and alone. If you’re feeling a sense of restlessness and discontentment in life, now is a good time to examine the impact that self-awareness, emotional regulation, and resilience can have on your perspective. In today’s podcast episode of Integrated Being, I have a special guest walking alongside me to share how true fulfillment comes from focusing on the present moment and embracing the journey of becoming rather than fixating on external milestones.
The Arrival Fallacy: Letting Go of 'When I Get There'
This Episode of Integrated Being Felt Different.
There’s something sacred about sitting across from my father, a lifelong source of quiet wisdom, and opening my heart to this community we’ve been building together. This episode of Integrated Being felt different. It wasn’t just another reflection—it was a return. A return to the roots of why this space exists. A return to the truth I learned young: that wholeness comes from within, not from where we’re going.
In this conversation, with my dad as a guest listener and my mother lovingly tuned in from afar, I revisited a term that’s been echoing in my spirit: The Arrival Fallacy.
What Is the Arrival Fallacy?
Coined by a psychologist from Harvard, the "arrival fallacy" is the mistaken belief that happiness, fulfillment, or peace awaits us just beyond the next milestone.
We tell ourselves:
When I finish this degree, then I’ll feel accomplished.
When I get the promotion, then I’ll rest.
When I meet the right partner, buy the house, lose the weight... then I’ll finally feel enough.
But the truth?
The arrival often feels more like a void than a victory. I know it firsthand. After 19 years of working toward my doctorate, I stood on the other side of that final defense and felt... nothing. Not relief. Not joy. Just an eerie silence and solitude. It took a mentor’s call and my aunt’s voice to remind me: Just be.
Because what I had been chasing wasn’t a title. It was a feeling I could only ever find within myself.
What Is an Integrated Being?
As my mother once asked (and I now proudly share on our website), an Integrated Being is someone who lives from the inside out.
It’s someone who:
Understands that thoughts create emotions, and emotions create action.
Honors the mind-body-spirit connection as essential, not optional.
Practices emotional regulation—not perfection, but awareness and compassion.
Lives in alignment with their values.
Draws resilience from wholeness, not performance.
These traits, taught to me by my parents and shaped by experience, form the foundation of this podcast—and my life.
Why This Matters Now
We live in a culture obsessed with arrival. Metrics, goals, KPIs, titles. But none of them define you.
You are already enough.
As I sat with my father, reflecting on these ideas, I thought of my own children. Of the graduating seniors looking to what’s next. Of the women in operations, I recently spoke with—strong, capable, but still sometimes wondering: Am I enough? Yes. You are.
An Invitation to Arrive Now
Today, I invite you to let go of the lie that arrival will complete you. Instead, pause. Breathe.
Ask yourself:
What is true right now?
Can I find stillness in this step— even if it’s messy?
What are you chasing, and why?
You don’t have to wait for the next thing to feel worthy of peace. The power is in presence. The magic is in the becoming.
One Final Prompt
Let this be the moment you stop running.
Let this blog be the reminder that you are whole now.
And let our community be a place where your journey inward is seen and supported.
If this resonated with you, share it with someone still chasing. Invite them back to the now. Because as someone told me recently, words plant seeds—and maybe this one was meant for you.
Want More?
Browse podcast episodes to explore more insights, subscribe to my monthly newsletter, or check out my book and coaching program. Together, we can create a life that feels balanced, joyful, and authentically yours.
Thank you for listening in and reading along… I would love to hear your thoughts… Join the conversation & send me an email at elizabeth@integratedbeingllc.com. I look forward to connecting with you & going on this journey of life together.
xo, Lizzie
